One Beer Too Much
by Cassie Studios
Summary: It's a nice sunny day. Birds are singing, the breeze is coolling the warm air and Rukia wakes up from her long sleep. But hey, wait! Why is Ichigo there? The last night's party...does it have anything in common with that? IchiRuki, enjoy!


**A/N:** Sashiburi da ne, minna-san! But since you liked my first Bleach fic so much, I'm gonna post the next one. Have fun!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Bleach, just the wicked idea presented in this fic. It came to me one day and it seems to perfectly fit the IchiRuki couple.

* * *

**One beer too much**

In his life a human being encounters many astounding things. Or funny. Or just plain interesting, like an unusually big (about the size of your finger) beetle. Or some weather anomalies. I, for example, have witnessed a five-minute long rain. It was raining only in an area with a radius of about one meter. That was something.

However, the thing Kuchiki Rukia experienced one morning would never be labeled by her as 'astounding' (well, this as well, but not primarily), 'funny' (no! this wasn't funny at all!) or 'interesting' (depends for whom. For her definitely not).

She would describe it as _terrifying_.

Well, it was a morning after a long, long party after all…

* * *

Rukia twitched in her sleep as the bright sunlight poked her closed eyes. She snuggled her face into the softness near her head. The sunlight wouldn't give up, though. It kept teasing her until she more or less woke up. I think it had some goal in this, since Rukia, being quite awake at that moment, noticed at last what she had nuzzled her head against. She frowned and opened her eyes.

Just before her eyes she saw a large plain of skin. She frowned and recognized the shape. It was a human chest. A male human's bare chest.

Her mind easily took the fact in. It was too sleepy yet to get alert with it. However, when Rukia looked up to see the face of that male human, her mind rapidly woke up as if she had just drunk three cups of strong coffee.

It wasn't _a_ male's bare chest.

It was _Ichigo's_ bare chest.

Oh. My. Shinigami.

"AAAH!"

* * *

Surprising as it might seem, the scream didn't wake Ichigo up. Nevertheless, he frowned for a second and pulled Rukia closer. It was only then when she noticed that he had his arm circled around her waist. He snuggled his face into the crook of her neck and slept further. His frown soon dissolved and he took on a peaceful expression, one that Rukia had probably never seen before. But she was too terrified to admire it at the moment. Her head ached (damn hangover…) and her thoughts rushed at full speed. _What has happened? Why did she wake up beside Ichigo? Why did she wake up NAKED beside NAKED AS WELL Ichigo? Did they…_

"I…Ichigo…?" she tried quietly, shaking him a bit. "W…Wake up… Ichigo…"

After a minute or so he muttered something uncomprehensible and slowly opened his eyes. When he noticed Rukia he blinked, then opened his eyes wider and moved his face forth to take a closer look, and then rapidly pulled his head away.

"Rukia!" he exclaimed, shocked to the same extent as she was. "What are you doing here?"

He saw that terrified look in her eyes. He frowned (as usual…) and tried to comprehend the whole situation. However, he failed miserably.

"I…I don't know…" her voice was faint, as if she was too shocked to speak. "I don't remember anything… Have we…?"

Ichigo gulped. "How could I know? I don't remember anything either…"

They stared in the eyes of each other, desperately trying to recall _anything_ from last night. In vain. Ichigo suddenly felt sorry for Rukia. She looked like a frightened child, so unsure and disorientated. Well, he was in the same state actually, but at least he didn't show it. He tried to be the strong one and said:

"Maybe…maybe we just…accidentally…slept here…without anything…"

"Naked?" she asked sarcastically, pulling the cover up to her neck.

There was silence again.

"I think…I think that maybe…"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe…" she gulped uneasily. "If we don't remember, then maybe the others know anything…"

"What?!" Ichigo was even more terrified. "You want to ask them about _that_?!"

"How else would we know!" she retorted. "You don't remember, I don't remember…but we have to know!"

"And how do you imagine that? You'll go there and ask them: 'Excuse me, but do you possibly know if me and Ichigo…'," he blushed slightly and continued: "You know what I mean. Is that how you want to do this?"

"Is there any other way?" she asked matter-of-factly.

"Well…"

"See? There is none."

Rukia pulled the cover along with herself as she stood up. Ichigo immediately protested as it threatened to display more than he would want it to.

"Hey! What are you doing?!"

"Take the sheet," she shrugged as he grabbed the sheet to cover himself. Rukia made a nice knot on the cover, creating herself a robe. "I need to look somehow."

"Are you going to them _now_?!"

"Is there something I should wait for?"

"Well, uh, no but…"

"Oh quit yapping Ichigo, you know it's the only solution."

"Yeah…" he averted his gaze to the side. "Maybe it's some kind of joke or something… Actually, I do hope that we've only been taken in…"

Silence. Silence. Thinking. Realization what he'd just said. Furious blush on both sides.

"I…I think I'll better go now," proposed Rukia and she quickly left the room.

* * *

"Aaahh…my head…" whined Hitsugaya-taichou, laying flat on the floor. "I promise I'll never drink with you again, Matsumoto…"

"But taichou," she protested, handing him a glass of water, which he thankfully accepted. "You haven't even drunk half of what I have…" she gave it a second thought. "But maybe it has no greater effect on me since I have such a big body mass," she glanced at her well-developed chest. "Do you think that they might be the cause, taichou?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"But taichou…"

"Stop it, Matsumoto."

The fukutaichou caught a stray glipmse of Orihime, who was also dying somewhere on the couch. Ishida was sitting with his back leaning against it, rubbing his head. Only Chad seemed unaffected by the alcohol. Matsumoto was surprised to see him drink so much yesterday. He was still a teenager, after all. She didn't think he was drinking much enough for his body to be used to it. Actually, respecting the law, he shouldn't drink at all. And knowing him he really didn't. But yesterday he could drink a lot and wouldn't do any stupid things. He just took the drinks one by one, sitting quietly as always. Then, after some longer time, he just announced that he was going sleep. And he just did. Incredible indeed.

And of course, the one whom the alcohol had the less effect on was Matsumoto herself.

She heard some faint footsteps outside the room. Everyone looked at the door, which soon opened and revealed Rukia. She stopped at the doorstep tentatively and scanned the room. The other five just stared at her, strange curiosity on their faces.

"Um…ano…" began the girl uneasily. She noticed that Matsumoto was the most conscious of all of them and turned to her. "Matsumoto-fukutaichou, do you happen to know…um… Because you see…" she wasn't exactly sure how to ask the question. "I…I woke up and…and I saw Ichigo and…did…" she blushed bright red. "Did we…"

Matsumoto knew exactly what the girl wanted to ask her. And she gave a simple answer.

"Yes."

Rukia froze. Had she heard the right thing? Maybe it was a mistake?

"We…we did?"

"Yeah," nodded Matsumoto. "Don't you remember anything?"

Rukia desperately shook her head, clutching onto the cover. "Are you sure…?"

"Oh yes, I'm absolutely sure."

"How…how come you're so sure?" Rukia, despite being so shocked, frowned slightly.

"Well, let's just say that I could clearly _hear_ it."

The look in the girl's eyes was priceless. She moved her gaze to other people in the room. One by one they confirmed the fukutaichou's words.

Rukia slowly turned around. "Thanks. I just wanted to know," she said in a voice barely recognizable as hers.

She left the room, closing the door behind herself. They heard her horrified voice say: "Ichigo…they say we did it…"

* * *

"So…what now?"

The question echoed in the room for awhile. Rukia was sitting with the cover enclosed around her like a tipi. Ichigo had the sheet wrapped around his waist like a far too long skirt. They looked at each other.

"I don't know."

"Rukia…a shinigami cannot get pregnant, right?"

She blushed at the comment, but she supposed it was a right question to ask.

"I…I think we can…but I would feel much worse if I was pregnant, I suppose. Vomiting and so on. We don't have to worry about that."

"Do you believe it? That we really did it?" he asked.

"We…we could've…" she gulped.

Silence.

"Ichigo…"

"Hm?"

"I think either of us drank one beer too much yesterday…"

* * *

"Hey, there's nothing to be ashamed of!" said Matsumoto cheerfully as she distributed six cups of tea and sat down with the seventh in her hand. "What's wrong with you two? Cheer up!"

Nobody commented on the fact that to Matsumoto there was probably _nothing_ shameful in this world. Ichigo and Rukia were sitting next to each other. They were stuck in this mess together, after all. Everybody else seemed to have no problem with the fact that the two had just slept with each other. As if it was perfectly fine.

Well, for Ichigo and Rukia it wasn't.

They were sitting quite close to but never touching each other. It was as if they were silently comforting each other, but at the same time trying to maintain some distance. Still, there was some sort of unspoken connection between them. But then again, it had always been there.

Matsumoto shoved a plate towards Rukia.

"Want a cookie?" she asked happy-go-luckily.

The girl hesitated for a moment, but then took one, muttering some 'thanks.' Ichigo did the same. The two simultaneously bit their cookies in silence and dropped their gaze, deep in thoughts.

All the others watched them discreetly. Then they glanced uncertainly at Matsumoto. She had a wide satisfied grin on her face.

* * *

_**Flashback**_

"Aaaah!" Matsumoto-fukutaichou took a big sip of her drink. "I'd never think there was something like that to be found in the living world!"

"Maybe you should temper yourself, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya-taichou scolded his adjutant. "You've drunk far too much in my opinion."

"But taichou, have a little fun! Besides," she giggled, "I haven't drunk so much as to be in _that_ state," she pointed at Rukia and Orihimie, who were currently arguing.

"I think Kurosaki-kun is the most handsome guy in the world!" announced Orihime, swaying a bit. Her voice was the one of a typical drunk person, with half of the vowels twice as long as usually.

"Nooooooooo!" protested Rukia, drunk to the same extent. "Ichigo is a weirdo! The most handsome guy in the world is…Chappy the Rabbit!"

This was such a bullshit that even Orihime had to notice that. "Kuchiki-san, you are drunk," she declared as if she'd just discovered an important world truth.

"I'm not drunk."

"Yeees, you are."

"I'm…" she hiccupped, "I'm not!"

"And you like Kurosaki-kun!"

"NO I DON'T!"

„Yes you do!" she turned around. "Right, Ishida-kun?"

Ishida was sitting with his back leaning against the wall, sipping his own beer. "Dead right," he agreed, nodding enthusiastically. "But! You like Kurosaki as well!" he pointed an accusing finger at her.

Orihime didn't seem the least bit embarassed. "Yeah!" she confirmed. "But Kurosaki-kun doesn't like me, but Kuchiki-san."

She dwelled on the thought for a moment, and then she burst out wit tears. "He doesn't like meeeeeee!" she cried. Ishida moved closer to her to console her. "Don't cry, Inoue-san," he patted her on the shoulder. She grabbed his short sleeve and dried her tears. Then she declared: "But at least I want them to be happy together! Yeah!" she attempted to stand up, but failed, so she decided to remain sitting on the floor. "I, Inoue Orihime, age 15, cup size E, will do everything for them to be happy together!"

"I do not like Kurosaki-kun!" Rukia protested once more. "Er… I mean Ichigo!"

"What?" he asked suddenly, appearing in the doorway with beer in his hand.

"Nothing!" she snapped, turning her back towards him.

"You are unkind to me!"

"I won't talk with you!"

"Why?"

She gazed at him with wide eyes, as if it was perfectly obvious. "You're drunk," she explained.

"I'm not!" he denied, walking into the room. At the same moment he tripped over a carpet and fell flat onto the floor face first. Rukia laughed uncontrollably at the sight.

"Ha! I told you you're drunk!"

"I'm…" he lifted himself on his arm, with the second one still holding the beer. (Interesting how drunk people when falling down always care more about their drinks than about themselves. Going with this tradition, Ichigo managed to save two thirds of his beer. Incredible indeed.) "…not drunk!"

He moved closer to Rukia and the two stared in each other's eyes. They both frowned and were having a great eyesight battle. Finally Rukia decided that she should be the winner and she unceremoniously hit Ichigo on the head with her glass. He whimpered and fell down onto her knees, his beer eventually spilling all over the carpet. Rukia stared at him, blinked, stared, blinked again and her eyes widened in horror.

"Oh no!" she cried. "I killed him! I killed Ichigo! Ichigo!" she started shaking him violently. "Ichigo, wake up! Don't be dead! We're having a party and there is no one free who would guide you to Soul Society! Don't die now!"

Since he wouldn't move or open his eyes, Rukia shouted louder. Suddenly everything went silent when she had been hit on the head herself. Hitsugaya-taichou lowered his Zanpakuto, the hilt of which he used to reach the noisy Shinigami.

"Shut up," he demanded. It was a useless request, since the one whom it was adressed to was currently unconscious.

Everyone looked at Ichigo and Rukia laying on one another on the floor. Matsumoto stared at the couple and then a wicked idea came to her drunken mind. She moved her gaze to Orihime.

"You said that you'd do anything to make them happy together, right?"

Inoue only blinked with astonishment.

* * *

"Ran…Rangiku-san…" she whispered fifteen minutes later as Chad and Ishida were carrying unconscious Ichigo and placed him right beside Rukia. "Is this really a good idea?"

"Of course!" her exclamation came also in a whisper. "You'll see in the morning!"

"I don't want to have anything in common with that, Matsumoto," stated Hitsugaya-taichou, watching their actions. "And how exactly are you going to convince them tommorow that they have done this? Anyone can sleep next to each other, you know."

"Yes, taichou. But not without clothes."

"Matsumoto, they do have clothes."

"It's just a matter of time, taichou."

"What?!"

"Shh! You'll wake them up!"

"Rangiku-san, what are you going to do?" asked Orihime, a bit terrified. Matsumoto's idea made her much more sober than she was just twenty minutes earlier.

The fukutaichou chuckled. "Come, Orihime-chan. We need to take care of Rukia."

"What?!"

"Uryuu-kun and Chado-kun will take care of Ichigo," ordered Matsumoto as she moved closer to the sleeping girl. "No peeking!"

Everyone stared at her with fear. It was then when they ultimately decided not to get too drunk in the presence of the 10th squad vice-captain Matsumoto Rangiku.

Who knew how wicked her further ideas might be.

* * *

When they took off all of the clothes of Ichigo and Rukia, Matsumoto placed the two next to each other and she assigned them a shared cover.

"Now we'll just have to wait until morning," she announced.

Orihime eyed the couple and staggered a bit. As the time passed, she was becoming more and more convinced that the fukutaichou's idea was perfect.

"Oh, Rangiku-san!" she exclaimed in awe. "They are absolutely adorable together! And I have my hand in it!"

"Yes, Orihime-chan. You do."

"Ha! Inoue Orihime, at the age of 15, used her brilliant skills as a matchmaker and her two lovebirds are going to live happily ever after!"

Ichigo moved a little, apparently because of her loud voice. She immediately covered her mouth and like everyone watched the boy attentively. But he didn't wake up. Matsumoto had placed his arm around Rukia's waist. Now he only tightened the grip, pulling the girl a little closer to himself. This should wake her up, but she was too drunk to come to. Sensing something soft right in front of herself, Rukia snuggled up to Ichigo and they were quickly sound asleep again. The others sighed with relief. They swiftly left the room not to cause any further danger to their plans.

"You know, Matsumoto, you're mean."

"But taichou!" she said it so loud that he had to cover his ears. "It's a perfect strategy! If you want," she offered suddenly, "then just find a girl and I'll do the same to you!"

Hitsugaya's emerald eyes widened in horror. "Don't you ever dare, Matsumoto."

"But taichou…"

"Don't!"

"Yes, taichou…"

**_End of Flashback_**

* * *

Orihime watched Ichigo and Rukia walking outside in the garden.

"Rangiku-san…is it really ok…"

"Don't worry! They will be fine!"

"But Rangiku-san…"

"I said don't worry. You will see soon enough."

"Matsumoto, just how many times have you done this that you are so sure about the plan?"

To her taichou's great surprise, Rangiku sank deep in her thoughts. Then she answered:

"About eight times I guess…"

"Eight times?! How come?!"

"You know, taichou, I used to be a good matchmaker before. But then I became your adjutant, and you ladened me with so much work that I've never gotten much time to practice my skills… But they are still there!"

"Matsumoto…" Hitsugaya-taichou stared at her wide-eyed. "You are insane."

"Nope!" she flashed him a sweet grin. "I'm just merry!"

* * *

"Do we say 'sorry'?"

"I guess not. It was our shared decision, wasn't it?"

"How could I know that?"

"Yeah, right…" Rukia remembered all the circumstances.

They sat down on the grass and watched the sky. Ichigo turned to Rukia, blushing a little.

"Does it make us a couple?"

She looked back at him and opened her mouth. However, she said nothing. The thought bugged her for awhile.

"I…" she stuttered finally. "I don't know."

Ichigo gazed up.

"I think this pairing was a crazy one from the very beginning."

"Dead right. But I have an impression that we are alone in this opinion."

"You think so?"

"For some reason…yes."

There was silence again. After a longer moment Rukia saw Ichigo watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"What?"

"No, nothing," he blushed slightly and turned away.

Rukia phewed. "I know what you are thinking about."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You're wondering what it was like yesterday, aren't you?"

She guessed perfectly. But he tried to make up for it. "I just…I just got curious, that's all. It's kinda stupid we don't remember anything."

"But you would love to remember," she smirked.

"Well of course it is better to… Hey, what's with that face?!"

"Nope, nothing."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I told you, nothing."

She sighed and looked in the space. "But it's really annoying. It feels like a part of my life is missing. I hate it."

"Me too."

"Do you think we had fun?"

"What?!" that was an unexpected question. But Rukia was calm.

"I'm just curious, like you."

"I… Well, I don't know. Maybe." He sighed. "What an idiotic situation."

"Hell yes."

The two were silent for a little while, then…

"Hey, Rukia…"

"Hm?"

"If we really did that…do you regret it?"

She glanced at him attentively, then returned her gaze to the previous direction. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we surely shouldn't have had sex with each other while being completely drunk, but that's one thing. The other is, if you regret that it was me. Because if you do, then I apologize. Even if it was _our_ decision."

"I don't."

"You don't?"

"No. I…" the slight blush on her cheeks made her look so sweet. "It was my first time, you know… But to me, it's ok. So don't apologize."

Contrary to her words, she seemed quite sad. Ichigo watched her for a couple of seconds, then he sat up and put his arm around her. She shivered at the touch, being surprised and still quite unfamiliar with it, but he said:

"Hey, it's not like we haven't done more serious things last night," he reminded her.

"Yeah…"

She leaned her head against his arm. The silence prolonged.

"If you want to, we can try to ignore it and go on," Ichigo suggested quietly.

"No," Rukia shook her head. "Unless…you want to."

"I…I don't."

Suddenly the atmosphere grew, like, warmer…

"I want to remember."

Rukia didn't have to ask why. She felt exactly the same. She only lifted her head to look him in the eyes. Her little smile told him that everything was fine now.

"Then nothing's wrong," Rukia almost whispered.

"Yeah," Ichigo whispered back. "That's good."

"Yeah, that's good."

"Yeah…"

They stared into each other's eyes, and then…

* * *

"Oh my, they are kissing!!!" Orihime was getting more and more excited by the second. "I can't believe your plan worked so well, Rangiku-san!!!"

"Tada!" the vice-captain spread her arms in a presenting gesture. "Fear the power of my matchmaking skills!"

"Matsumoto…"

"What is it, captain?"

"You…," he stuttered, staring at her wide-eyed. "You're really scary…"

"But taichou…"

"Don't get near me!"

"But I…"

"Just don't!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the couple on the lawn broke apart. They gazed at each other.

"Did you just kiss me?"

"Shh!" Ichigo put a finger to his lips, however his cheeks got slightly pink. "Did you hear that?"

"By 'that' you mean something about the plan and Matsumoto-fukutaichou?"

"Yees…"

Ichigo stared at Rukia, Rukia stared at Ichigo. And then there came…

Realization.

"Did she just set us up?" asked Rukia in a slightly angered voice.

"Did she put us _naked_ under one cover?" Ichigo mimicked her tone.

"Did she confirm that we slept with each other?"

"Did she act as if nothing happened…"

"_Because_ nothing happened…"

"Did everyone know and no one told us one damned thing?"

"I'll kill her. Even if she's a vice-captain."

"I'll help you. No matter what."

They stood up simultaniously, their ears nearly steaming with fury. They looked at the window, which got rapidly empty, and glanced at each other. Suddenly they turned their heads aside, blushing a bit.

"Why the hell did she do that?" questioned Rukia.

"I dunno. But probably…" Ichigo returned his gaze to the girl and smiled a little. Rukia mirrored his face and finished:

"Probably…she was right."

Their lips met once more…before they went on the Killing Spree.

* * *

**A/N:** Ha ha. How d'ya like the idea? I personally think it's quite insane, but then again it's Matsumoto-shishou we're talking about here.

Please leave a comment!


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